Walking back from Macca's today I was thinking about all the "dumb" things that guys have said or done to me that they should've got shafted for but... me being me...didn't. You know, the kind of stuff where they think they're being really smooth but they're actually being really sleazy. Like saying, "Hey, you know what, I've never had sex in my car." or "These windows are tinted so...no one can see in or anything" (followed up with eyebrow raising). Anyway, coming back up to the office in the lift I developed a concept based on Paul's MSN Rules. Paul has a points system for people chatting to him on MSN. In summary, you start out with a certain number of points and if you do something annoying to Paul (which, I might add, isn't that difficult) he deducts points. If you lose all your points, then he will block you. So I thought it to be a good system to put in place for the pick-up scene. All guys will now start out with 1000 points and I will deduct points for the following (in no particular order):
- Asking me what my name is more than 3 times - 250 points
- Asking me what my name is after we've kissed - 500 points
- Not loaning me 50 cents when I'm short on buying my next drink - 800 points
- Spilling a drink on me and pretending to clean it off just to touch me - 600 points
- Picking me up (literally) and causing me to lose my shoe - 725 points
- Licking my nose - 999 points
- Attempting to steal my ID, ATM card, mobile phone, money and/or lip gloss - 500 points per item
- Making references to having sex with me on first meeting and/or asking me home - 50 billion points
It's still a work in progress but that'll do for now until I think of more. If you have any you think I should add, feel free to leave a comment.
17 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you crack me up. Most hilariuous post yet!!
does it work the other way too? can you get good points for certain things?
yeah good question.
preach it brother!
preach it!
what? why don't you preach it, you the one who asked it in the first place, muscle head.
Yeah, I guess you can win points back. 999 points for getting your chest waxed. 750 points for buying me more than 5 drinks. 500 points for being able to dance without smacking your knees into my legs. 250 points for having a friend reasonable enough for Stephanie to hook up with. 100 points for muscly arms. 1 point per question aimed at getting to know me.
Well I think it should be at least +500 points for muscley arms (bonus points for being a footy player). +250 points for not asking "what's your natio?" -250 for asking what my 'natio' is. +100 points for striking up a conversation without a corny pick up line such as "how you doin'?". +400 points for not groping me in inappropriate places the first time we meet. +300 points for offering to walk me to my car and a bonus 50 for actually doing it. Oh, and -300 points for offering to buy me a drink...at an open bar. I've got heaps more but the screen is only so big...
Excellent work, Steffy buns!
I have been trying to resist posting this comment for a long time. But i can resist no longer...
Its nothing against u or steph though. just a bit of fun...
Carris's pick up rules.
Every guy starts off with 1000 points.
1000 points will be taken off for trying to pick up with me, ( that includes, useing a pick up line or looking at me in a sleezy way.)
The end.
HAHAHA, i think i am hilarious. I should blog that... nah.
+ 200 points for NOT setting fire to my car.
+ 300 points for NOT shooting me in the leg.
- 500 points for asking me my name after we've been married 3 or more years.
- 100 points for selling my house, car and other assets to fuel your cocaine addiction.
+ 10,000 points for asking me back to your house for peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches.
This is simply a comment to boost the number of comments for this post. Come on people! We can set a record here! But to make it valid... +150 points for messaging me the day after to say you had a nice time. Together everyone...awww
HAHA. that was classic warren. Made me laugh for hours! You should feel very good about your blog now janelle! Since its creating so much attention! :D
-carris
P.S ( your blog must rock!!!!)
boron has rule also. you not for you to know.
this blog start to sound little like mastercard add for creditcard.
step on my toes while dancing- $50
step on my head whilst playing twister game- $100.
forgeting your partner name when you married 20 years!- priceless.
lololololololololol
is funny no?
LOL nice one boron. you seem to be down with this dating thing...
a billon points for leaving me the heck alone
excuse me mr annoymous
just a real quick question for ya, is that + a billion or - a billion?
just a little confused.
good question. i thought it was a little unclear too.
Post a Comment