Guys want it all or nothing. They either want to take you for a test drive and then never speak to you again until the next time they're feeling a bit antsy or they want you to be their girlfriend. I definitely don't want to be someone's booty call but I also don't want to committ to a relationship right now. I'm happy to just float around somewhere in the middle and call it a day.
P.S I was forced to amend the language in this post as I recently found out that a certain eight year old cousin of mine has been reading my blog.
10 comments:
i say do what u like and forget the boys...hmmm ;)
Well nellie-smell,
I reckon the whole "girlfriend" label is cheap and cheesy. Actions speak louder than words. You'll find a fair few million guys who will be happy to call you that and hang out with you. It means different things to different people though.
So stop teasing roosters, work out what qualities in another human being really matter... and stop stuffing guys around by being "somewhere in the middle". You wonder why they don't know where the heck they stand? Perhaps it's because you're deliberately not making it clear and changing it up when it suits you.
Are you solely to blame for these increasingly regular incidents? No. Guys would do well to invest in you as an independent person before they try to rope you in to "a relationship"... rather than just try to get you to commit to "exclusive hanging around with each other and kissing rights".
But what's your role in this? What behaviours of yours are feeding into the situations?
You can step back and have a think about it... or you can just suck down an oversized helping of girlpower from stef. Go on thinking that you aren't contributing to these little occurrences if you like. You'll have plenty of people around to agree with you if that's what you want to hear.
Big Brother is watching.
paulie...it's not your sister's fault guys can't help themselves around her. she's a nice girl and some guys think that means she's not actually knocking them back so they try harder which inevitably ends up hurting them.
Nice she may be.
But this "somewhere in the middle" stuff isn't going to help anyone... including our nice little Nellie who keeps frightening apprentice tradesmen.
I'll post anonymously because I couldn't possibly let it be known that I agree with Paul....but, I agree with Paul.
Let's agree to disagree. Clearly men and women think differnetly on this issue. As a woman I reserve the right to be difficult (hehe), therefore, let me just say that men are poo and need to take a chill pill on this whole "committment" thing...
I see this issue has attracted quite a large amount of debate. Well done Janelle keep them coming.
"Let's agree to disagree."
(I don't really have a better suggestion but I don't want to bother with yours because it would require too much of me.)
"Clearly men and women think differnetly on this issue. As a woman I reserve the right to be difficult (hehe), therefore, let me just say that men are poo"
(I'm not really interested in thinking about exercising emotional intelligence in relationships, so I'm just going to talk about 'us' and 'them'. Then I'm going to use gender stereotypes to justify the behaviours of the group I've just created for myself.)
"and need to take a chill pill on this whole "committment" thing..."
(When it comes down to it I'm selfish. I'll behave however I like around guys and if I confuse them, I'll try and make it sound like it's their fault.)
Oh... and anonymous 2, this is good... I agree with you. If she attracts debate, at least it won't get the wrong idea and ask her out. :P
HEY!!!!!!}
i READ WHAT i WANT
Gee Paul, you don't over think things much! :)
First: let me say that, as always, I appreciate your sense of humour and think you are pretty hilarious.
Second: may I point out that you seem to have forgotten where Janelle was coming from in her blog. There is no need for me to reitterate as you can sense her meaning just by reading the blog that began all this.
I ask you this: What is so wrong with 'playing the field'? At this age it is crazy to restrict yourself to the rules and demands of other people when you don't even listen to your own parents. Now is the perfect time to be meeting new people, doing exciting new things and creating friendships that will last a life time. There is plenty of time for relationships. Young people these days are too eager to settle. In case you haven't noticed there has been a big shift in male and female attitudes to relationships. Once females were the needy , 'I love you' types wanting to tie down their unruly, commitment-phobe male counterparts. These days it is the men who want to claim you as their girlfriend as soon as you are introduced. Brings a whole new meaning to "You had me at hello."
As a wise woman once said to me over lunch at our usually spot in the city (you know who you are hehe) People these days are only interested in looking after themselves. Going by that theory, I think it is a perfectly healthy attitude for a young woman to want to focus on building a life for herself and not settle until the most deserving man comes along (I say most deserving because let's face it, women are never satisfied). In the mean time she should be free to go out, have drinks with the girls and hang out with whomever she chooses.
On a final note (and you can disagree with me all you like but you know I'm right) men themselves aren't exactly clear on their intentions either. It's a lucky girl who manages to squeeze out of a guy that he even likes her. I salute those men who are brave enough to lay their feelings on the table. It takes guts and if anything, only makes them more attractive. But don't forget that these days guys hint and expect the girl to act. This is messing with the way of the world. Girls hint. Boys act. That's the way it is. Call me old-fashioned but that's the way life goes. If you get knocked back and refuse to be friends with the person then clearly you didn't value him/her enough to begin with. Sure, the freindship will be a little different. I'm not saying that you can just switch off having feelings for someone. What I am saying is that just because you have feelings for someone does not mean they must reciprocate. If you are half the person they are you will keep their friendship. Don't be so insecure. Have confidence in yourself. Your friend may not have been the right person for you but he/she is out there somewhere. If you keep tossing aside friends you'll soon have none left.
"That's all I have to say about that."
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